Wednesday, February 25, 2009

After Hours

When you're stumbling around turning off the lights, you never know who you might find lying under the table.

Seems like good advice, but not in the bath tub.

If you wander around our house after the girls are in bed, you're always likely to find that sewing machine and umbrella meeting on that operating table. . . the Surrealists must have had toddlers.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. . .

So there's this meme making its way through Facebook these days. (Y'know, back in the stone ages we would have used the word "thing" where internet savvy folks say "meme"). It's a sort of chain letter thing (see, this is where you substitute "chain letter thing" with the word "meme") called "25 Things About Me".

Now, I shared some of crackskullbob's reservations about these lists. But when I learned that no less a person than Yoko Ono posted her list of 25 things (thanks for the tip, Bill), I knew I had to get in on this whole public disclosure of my deepest private "things" business. Because, of course, I try to follow Yoko's example whenever possible (this is most evident in my singing voice). That's one of those things my friends don't know about me.

So, in the spirit of that great quote from Picasso that "art is the lie that tells the truth", here's my list of "25 Things About Me".

1. I can really shake my money maker.

2. Chocolate ice cream makes me very sad.

3. My inner child has a parasitic twin, named Fernando. They often disagree.

4. Very small dogs standing on their hind legs make me nervous, as they remind me of the time my nose was chewed off by a rat when I was a child.

5. Strangers have been known to come up to me and tell me how nice my hair smells.

6. Few people can resist my Petits Fours Mazarin-filled Shortdough Cups. No, you can't have the recipe!

7. I have a large collection of pot holders that children made from those little weaving kits. I have purchased them from yard sales, and more recently from eBay, though I never made them myself as a child. Fernando claims to have made quite a few.

8. I was born on a Greyhound Bus, but it doesn't seem to have influenced my desire to ramble. I'm actually quite sedentary.

9. Beer commercials make me all weepy.

10. My prosthetic nose often itches, but I'm afraid to scratch it in public.

11. I've never been the same since I got my Chakras aligned. It was painful, but definitely worth it.

12. My slam-dunk is a thing of beauty, if I may say so myself.

13. Most people are unaware of my interest in mycology. I keep it to myself, as a little private treasure.

14. I cross my fingers whenever I use words that begin with x.

15. I find laundromats very soothing. I often visit them when I'm traveling, just to relieve my "sensory overload".

16. My middle name is an obscene pun in French, so I rarely use it in public, but it makes a good password for my online accounts.

17. I have a really beautiful poem, titled "Footprints", framed and hanging in every bathroom in the house.

18. "Robot" from "Lost in Space" was one of my earliest heroes. I still yell "Danger, Danger" whenever I see something dangerous like little dogs standing on their hind legs.

19. I choose different postage stamps for different types of bills, based on whatever seems appropriate for that particular utility or credit card. I'm hoping it makes someone's life a little better.

20. I can balance a treat on the end of my nose, though I will twitch eagerly until you tell me I can have it.

21. I only use "free-range" worms when I fish, which is surprisingly often, let me tell you.

22. Every time I make a new friend(TM) on facebook I try to stop talking to someone I see in "the real world", just to keep some balance in my life.

23. My attempt to have Fernando and my inner child separated, captured on video, has received over a million hits on Youtube.

24. I can type with my teeth. I'm doing it right now. I have to take off my nose to do it.

25. I'm horribly afraid of making a fool of myself online. Danger! Danger!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Current Events. . . Octomom!

So when I glanced at the front of yesterday's paper, I momentarily thought that printmaking had finally made front page news. The Ethics of Multiples! Imagine my disappointment when I saw that it was only an article about Marvel Comics new character, Octomom. Strange thing is, they don't seem to have decided yet whether she's a villain or a hero.

Which reminds me of a quote I read recently: "Printmaking is like sex; both are about more than just reproduction."

Wednesday, February 04, 2009


This linocut is my contribution to the Moveable Feast portfolio, organized by Carrie Lingscheit and Danielle Wyckoff. So, admittedly, it's not quite the festive image that the portfolio theme suggests. But there's lunar imagery (the Moveable Feast in a religious sense is based on the lunar calendar), there's food, the food is certainly portable, so that's "Moveable". . . and feasting will happen eventually.